It is like grief
Your world is upside down
It’s not easy when a significant relationship or marriage ends. Whatever the reason for the split, and whether you wanted it or not, the breakup of a relationship can turn your world upside down triggering an aftermath of all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings such as sadness, grief, disorientation, anger, self-doubt, loss of self-confidence, inability to concentrate, spontaneous emotion, depression and despair.
It is at these times that our conscious mind cannot override these deep feelings. Even those who feel that it was their choice to end the relationship often go through a period of feeling lost and confused. After all, life has changed drastically and quickly and our hopes and dreams for the future can be thrown into a state of uncertainty.
Great uncertainty about the future
The breakup hurls us into a barrage of emotions – everything can be disrupted: your routine and responsibilities, your relationships with family and friends, even your identity. A breakup often brings great uncertainty about the future. What will life be like without your partner? Will you feel like this forever? Will you find someone else? Will you end up alone? In some ways, the feelings of these unknowns can often seem worse than an unhappy relationship.
Now is the time to invest in yourself, to decide that you are worth it. To take some time out and reflect on what happened, to be honest with yourself, to perhaps recognise what part you played in the problems of the relationship, to think back on previous relationships perhaps – has there been a common theme of choosing the wrong type of person or repeating the same mistakes? Were you trying to change the other person, or to fix them, were they trying to change, or fix you?
Emerge better and stronger
There is an old Cornish saying ‘when the sea is rough, mend your sails’. Consider this as a period of time out of the water, a time when the sea is stormy but you are strengthening your sails for the future. You can emerge from this experience knowing yourself better and feeling stronger.
We will work together to help heal you and get your identity back, to re-evaluate what is important in your life so as you can consciously and subconsciously adjust, find your confidence and start to smile again, inwardly and outwardly, so as you can bring your desired picture of life into clear focus having really learnt from the mistakes of the past and not repeat them.
I can help you and support you during this difficult and emotional time using a combination of Counselling, Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy, including the most astonishingly accurate and revealing personality assessment that will enable you to really get to know and understand who you really are and to look at what personality type really is the right future partner match for you.
I am a full-time psychotherapist, hypnotherapist and counsellor who has been providing hypnotherapy, hypnosis, psychotherapy, CBT and counselling in Horsham and Crawley for over a decade